Wanting

By: fascinatrix femina

It was exactly four o’clock in the morning.

Stars still adorn the dark-blue sky when a lone figure arrived in a secluded area deep inside the forest. The faint rustling of the leaves and the gentle shushing of the breeze seemed to whisper certain obscenities in his ears as he stood there, alone and unmoving at the center of the grassy field.

‘What an ungodly hour to wake up!’ would be the ideal complain for those people who slept and dreamt soundly that night. Anyone would have cursed under his or her breath because four o’clock in the morning isn’t exactly a pleasant time for anyone to be up and about. Or better yet, anyone would have gotten rid of whoever bastard or whatever damn thing that forced him or her to wake up that early. The sun hasn’t even risen yet! What in the hell would a person do in this forest at this time of day!

Strangely enough, the dark-haired young man didn’t seem to mind it at all.

If he did, he sure has an impressive way of hiding it. He didn’t grumble one bit or even let his mouth twist into a deep scowl. His expression was calm and not a single trace of an angry vein popping on his forehead could be seen in his face. He headed inside the forest in absolute coolness, a coolness that would have rivaled even the most cold-hearted person that he knew in his lifetime.

Anyone would have been amazed at his patience. It isn’t often you see a person who has the guts to wake up at four o’clock in the morning so he can take a trip inside a forest in order to stand there and do nothing without getting the least bit irritated about it!

So how did he do it? Simple, by not sleeping and actually having a purpose for going inside the forest, of course!

He isn’t stupid. He wouldn’t deal with the nasty feeling of waking up that early in the morning just to space-out inside a damn forest, you know. Why would he do an idiotic thing like that?

The only reason why he was here in the first place is because he needed to deal with… something, that’s why he didn’t choose to sleep that night. He wanted to end this… something, that’s why he went to the forest in order to train.

He let a sigh of frustration escape his lips as he lightly massaged his temple in order to stop another upcoming headache. For reasons unknown to him, he’s been having these continuous headaches for a few days now, and he didn’t like it one bit.

Again, he mentally asked the heavens why in the hell do they seem to love to torture him so much...?

His dark eyes narrowed when he felt a sudden chill rushing up to his spine. A gust of wind had engulfed his entire body in a very cool embrace, giving him goose bumps and leaving him shuddering like a pathetic idiot.

He knew he should have bought his jacket with him…

Darn it… the heavens DO love to torture him, don’t they?

Sighing at his bad luck, he forced those disturbing thoughts away from his mind as he headed towards one of the wooden dummies so he can start his daily training. It wasn’t supposed to be this early, but did he have a choice? He couldn’t sleep because he was being plague by nightmares. And the only way to relieve him of those nightmares is to remain awake.

He was no Gaara. He clearly knew that. And he’s well aware that his body’s gonna give up on him anytime soon if he continues to submit to these sleepless nights.

But what can he do? If he sleeps, those nightmares are going to haunt him.

He didn’t want to let that happen ever again! And he’d force himself to remain wide-awake for a few days more just to avoid those dreams if he has to! He wouldn’t sleep, not until he finds out how to end those nightmares that kept on tormenting him every damn night!

I can’t believe I’m letting myself get too affected by those dreams…He thought with a scowl as he glared at the stupid-looking dummy in front of him. In one swift movement, he threw a powerful punch on the dummy’s head, beheading it in an instant.

He hated those nightmares… They weren’t like any other he has ever experienced before.

The young man stepped back a little before delivering a massive kick against the dummy’s side. The thick wood cracked loudly, much to his satisfaction, before exploding into millions of pieces. He silently watched the breeze gently carry some of the dust towards the sky before he decided to look around for another unfortunate dummy to vent his wrath on.

The first time he encountered that nightmare was right after that faithful incident. He was shocked because he never thought that it would haunt him even in his sleep. But instead of trying to think of a reason on why he experienced it or what that dream actually meant, he decided to ignore it. He reasoned that he was just plain exhausted, his mind not working properly and his imagination getting out of control again, that’s why he had that cursed dream.

However, two days after that, another nightmare came up. And this time, it’s more intense than the last. In fact, it was so intense that he immediately woke up and bolted upright his bed. He tried to ignore it again, forcing himself to believe that he just tired himself out that day, that’s why his mind ran wild again.

The young man studied the lone dummy in front of him. It was newly built, not even a dent or scratch could be seen on any of its sides. Its wooden body was smooth and shiny while the black Konoha symbol that was painted on its chest could still be seen as clearly as daylight even if only the moon’s rays lightened the whole forest. It was so perfect and unique, unlike the other dummies whose wooden bodies were downright filthy, smelly, and mutilated. In fact, the Konoha symbol on their chests ceased to exist anymore.

He clearly noticed these and glared at the dummy in front of him in contempt. He didn’t think it’s fair for the other dummies that only one of them is perfect. He didn’t think that it’s fair that only one of them isn’t beaten and battered when their only purpose is to get pummeled in the first place.

With a snort, he tore his gaze away from it and vented his wrath on the dummy next to it.

For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to destroy it... At least not right now. He’d save this one for later.

Thoughts invaded his mind again and returned to a peculiar night wherein he woke up from another nightmare with a strangled gasp. He looked down at himself and was shocked when he found out that he was shaking uncontrollably and was sweating like crazy. He felt like he was on fire! He looked around and found out that his bed sheets were all tangled up and his pillows were scattered all over the floor. That's when he finally realized that his dreams meantserious business. They wouldn't go away even if ignored.

The nightmares didn’t stop there for it continued to torment him for several more days after that, each of them getting more extreme that ever before. He tried to fight those dreams from haunting him, but much to his shock, he found out that he didn’t have the will to do it.

He really hated himself for that.

If only he could use his Katon jutsus or chidori to dispel those disturbing dreams away and chase them out of his head forever...

But since when did the heavens started to make things easier for him…? They just LOVE to torture him, remember?

Suddenly, the already stupid-looking dummies all around him started to look even more infuriating in his eyes. If he didn’t know any better, they looked like they were mocking and laughing at him and his sufferings! With a grunt, he jumped high and did a succession of hand seals. “Katon Goukakyuu no jutsu!” A series of intense flames burst forth out of his mouth. Without his ingenious accuracy and chakra control, his flames would have eaten up the whole forest by now. Instead, the dummies were the only ones that were swallowed by the fire.

As he watched the fiery scene below him, he remembered how the heavens proved how unkind they are to him the night before. The nightmare that he experienced that night scared the living daylights out of him so much that he fell right off his bed!

That was the very last straw. He didn’t think he’d ever want to sleep again…

When he landed gracefully on the ground, his lips were just about to twist into a satisfied smirk at the mess he had made when a lone dummy at the farthest corner of the field caught his onyx eyes. It was the only one that was still intact and not burning into ashes.

How in the hell did he missed destroying that dummy…?

When he shifted closer to get a better look, his eyes widened in surprise at what he found out.

It was the perfect-looking dummy from before. Its body was slightly burned and its face was a bit messy, but it was still in place, proud and standing with all its glory.

If it didn’t reminded him of the maddening persistence of his nightmares and a certain person who was the sole cause of his nightmares and frustration, he would have been impressed.

Instead, he scowled darkly at it.

Without thinking, he started to gather great amounts of chakra in his hand. He could feel hundreds of prickling sensations surge throughout his arm as if he was being punctured by hundreds of needles. Blue electricity started to bolt and flash all around his hand as the excessive chakra that were gathered in his palm started to create the loud chirping sounds of thousands of birds. The once silent forest was now full of so much noise.

If it weren’t for that person… he shouldn’t be in here in the first place.

He stepped back a little before he started to sprint towards the dummy, his hand ready and aching to wreak havoc.

If it weren’t for her… he shouldn’t be suffering like this.

The dummy helplessly stood there, but its stupid-looking face still stared right back at him as if daring him to continue his desire to destroy.

She was the one who made his whole life so damn complicated!

He was coming closer, only a few steps away and that unfortunate dummy will soon explode into millions of pieces. He smirked inwardly, hoping that once he destroyed this dummy, everything would turn back to normal and he’d finally regain his peace of mind.

He was only a few feet away.

The dummy looked so helpless, so helpless that the irritated young man almost wished for something that would force that dummy to move.

He was only an arm’s length away…

…when an image suddenly flashed into his mind.

His eyes widened in panic. His body swerved to the right and the chidori that was supposed to hit the dummy hit the large tree behind it instead. A thundering noise disturbed the whole forest and the animals that were sleeping peacefully woke up in an instant and began to run away from their homes. A flock of birds were forced to fly out of their nests as the large tree that clashed against the young man’ chidori fell to the ground with a deafening crash.

Slowly, after the noise died down and the dust has finally settled, an eerie silence crept into the air. The young man, apparently unhurt, quietly emerged from the rubbles. If he was like any other normal person, he would have rejoiced at the fact that he managed to cut down a tree with a single strike.

But he wasn’t like any other normal person. Instead of rejoicing, he became angrier. And that anger was clearly shown by the way he gritted his teeth together and how he clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white.

“Damn it!” The young man cursed under his breath as he ignored the unfortunate tree and slammed his fist down to the ground. He was supposed to end this now! It was so close! Why did he have to pull back at the very last minute!

He tilted his head to the side so he can send a death glare at the dummy behind him. The image from before gradually returned and he saw a pink-haired kunoichi materializing in his eyes. She was staring right back at him with a charming smile on her face.

Damn it….

This isn’t good… definitely not good at all.

With an exhausted sigh, he slumped down to the ground, his eyes still staring at the image of his teammate. A large part of him wanted to get rid of her and kick her out of his sight so he’d finally be at peace, but there’s also that persistent part of him that wanted to take her down and brand her as his.

He wanted to go with the former part, but how in the hell could he do that if he can’t even bring himself to lay a finger on an image of her? In fact, seeing her hurt was enough to make him want to go insane! And forgetting about her is also out of the question since she was always there, physically or mentally, whether he likes it or not.

So does that mean he’ll have to do that persistent part of him?

Heck no, although, technically, he could do that. Actually, he knew that she’s willing enough for him to claim her as his, but no. He’d never do that to her.

She deserves someone better.

Inwardly, he blamed himself for being stupid enough to get stuck in this mess. He knew he shouldn’t have tasted her. If only he didn’t let his control slip and kept his hands away from touching her creamy skin. He could still feel how warm her body was when pressed against his own as she continued to murmur in pleasure against his ears. She tastes so sweet, like honey, and he found himself addicted to her taste. She was so soft, as if urging him to…

“SHIT!” Here we go again… and he often wonders why he kept on having those disturbing dreams every damn night. He really should train himself to stop thinking about her or he'll never be able to sleep again!

“Sakura… you’re one heck of an annoying girl…” He grumbled as he cringed slightly when the bright rays of the rising sun blinded his eyes for a few seconds. He watched the sky mixed the warm colors of yellow and orange with the cool colors of black and dark blue. The moon and his twinkling companions slowly faded into view as the sun continued to rise from the darkness. He could hear the cheerful chirping of the birds on top of the trees as the once silent forest burst into life once again.

If he wasn’t in a frustrated mood, he would have thought that the whole scene was peaceful. Instead, he frowned at the unfairness of it all. Why is it that he’s the only one who’s suffering? Why can’t she suffer the same torments that he kept on having everyday, too? Why does she have the freedom to act so carefree and normal while he has to struggle with his damn feelings whenever he sees her or gets close to her?

Why can’t she just leave him alone?

First and foremost, his sub consciousness told him, she hit her head on the wall so she can’t remember a damn thing about any intimate moments that you both shared from before. Second, she’s head-over-heels in love with you so don’t think about getting rid of her that easily, unless you get blunt about it and tell her to leave you the hell alone!

“Fuck this…” He groaned as he felt another headache coming up. This is getting out of control. He didn’t want this! Before, he only has one purpose in his life, and that’s to get stronger in order to get revenge on his brother. Now, he was torn between a girl and his revenge. It would have been easier if he sticks with his purpose, but that persistent image of Sakura kept on popping inside his head every damn time!

Just as he thought about that, an image of Sakura, with her face sunny and cheerful as ever, suddenly emerged out of the bushes. The morning rays of the sun highlighted her face, making her look so unusually pretty for him. Before, Sakura was just Sakura for him. He never saw her as beautiful or anything like that.

So… why in the hell is he starting now?

“Great…” He muttered in annoyance as he glared at the image before turning his gaze somewhere else. And to think that he was training himself to forget about her…but here he was, seeing an image of her yet again. He narrowed his eyes at the hand that was resting on his side as he concentrated on thinking about something else like revenge, power, and his brother.

A few seconds passed by before he tore his eyes away from his hand and returned his gaze to where it was before, all the while thinking that the image must be gone by now. To his surprise, the image of her was still there and was watching him with an equally surprised look on her face.

He blinked. His images of Sakura never looks at him in surprise.

His eyes narrowed at the figure. She was now looking at him with an uncomfortable expression on her face.

She looks so…. real.

And much to his shock, another image came out of the bushes. It was the ‘beautiful’ green beast of Konoha.

…………….

What the…!

That’s when he finally realized that he wasn’t seeing things.

Never, ever, in his entire lifetime would he dare to dream about that thick-eyebrowed guy…

…nor dream about Sakura with another guy other than him.

He saw Lee throw a smile at Sakura before he started to talk to her. Sakura stopped looking at him as she turned to face the weird guy in green.

He watched this simple interaction with a frown on his face. What’s Sakura doing here? Why is Thick Eyebrows talking to her so casually? And just when in the hell did Lee started to get so damn irritating to him?

Lee suddenly turned to look at him with eyes wide and a huge smile on his face, his bright rows of white teeth glistening under the sun. “Sasuke-san! What a surprise!” He exclaimed cheerfully, too cheerfully for our brooding dark-haired young man.

Yeah… what a fucking surprise.

To be continued….